You are here: Home / Confidence

How to stop feeling nervous about networking

May 22, 2013 By Leave a Comment

imagesDo you want advice on how to stop feeling nervous about presenting?

That feeling of dread just before standing up to give a 60 second presentation is not great is it!

I remember back to the day in 1999 when I attended my very first networking event.  I was nervous as anything and couldn’t eat a sausage that morning and not even at the event.  Nobody warned me that I had to stand and give a presentation for 60 seconds.  I had no idea what to say.  All I remember was that what came out of my mouth was a muddle and I just wanted to run for the hills!!

Today I am an accomplished networker.  I co-founded a Staffordshire networking group with 7 groups and 20 members in each and  I was responsilble for training the members in networking success.  I witnessed some amazing opportunities created.  A far cry from my first networking event I can tell you.  In fact from my networking, I have generated some amazing strategic alliances, created some brilliant connections and boosted my business.  In fact I have been called the most connected business woman by a number of highly respected business people.

However, I have to say to you that, if you want to thrive from your own networking then you have to ensure you avoid the 6 common mistakes VAs make.  I am going to share these with you over the next three weeks…so enjoy!

Your 60 Seconds

Do you notice that just before your turn to stand up and do your 60-second pitch or your ten minute presentation, your heart starts to beat faster, you feel a churning in your gut, you suddenly forget what you had planned to say.

Then you stand up and notice how you are shaking, you feel conscious of everyone staring at you, you jumble up your words and mumble…oh damn you feel you’ve made a mess of it all and now have to wait until the next meeting to get it right …. but …. next time comes around and all you think about is the terrible experience of the last meeting …. oh what to do!!!!

Here is Tip Number 1 – let’s tackle those nerves of yours first

  • Actually being a little nervous is a GOOD thing believe it or not as having them allows a peak performance.  I speak at a lot of large conferences each year and I am always a little nervous beforehand, yet I find this helps me to give the best presentation.
  • However, the key is in the control of your nerves and feeling confident. How do you do that?  Visualisation.
  • If all you tell yourself is that you are nervous and then imagine yourself standing there a bag of nerves, then guess what…you will experience that…you are what you think.
  • By visualising yourself as a confident person, giving a sound presentation, imagining feeling calm and relaxed and even visualising people looking at you with keen interest whilst you are standing there thoroughly enjoying the presentation – then guess what again…you will experience that!!
  • Remember that much of the nerves (controlled) will be on the inside.  I bet people have told you that you appeared very confident and you respond with surprise…well, if you take the first three letters of confidence you have ‘con’, it is easy to con your audience!  The visualisation is what will help con your subconscious mind.
  • Remember that whatever you tell yourself often enough you will become true, change the way you think, act, behave as if you were the person you want to appear to be.

ist2_3246318-director-s-chair-the-leader-i-isolated-on-whiteJOIN A FREE LIVE WEBINAR

How to handle the challenges of networking – Register Here

Have a look at the wealth of information I will be sharing with you.  Based on 13 years of networking success, both offline and online.  I will be sharing some great insights on why some people give up and how some people thrive from networking.

 

Filed Under: Biz Booster Tips, Confidence, Networking Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Let Your Passion Shine Through

January 22, 2013 By Leave a Comment

Let your passion shine through! You know this is your business! Love it! Love talking about it!

For some people their lack of confidence comes from feeling embarrassed at talking about themselves and they worry that they are coming across as salesy. You don’t have to be salesy.

Love what you do. The one comment I receive time and time again is: “You have an amazing energy and a passion for what you do”. I say: “I know! I love it! I love what I do. I love supporting VAs to become a success in their business. I love giving them the secrets to marketing their business and how to network effectively. I love it!”.

And that’s the sort of impression you want to make with people. You don’t want to be talking so that you think “I really don’t want to be doing this”.

As part of your confidence let your passion about what you do shine through.

Remember it’s not all about you. There will be other people attending the event who are thinking: “Oh gosh. I don’t know what to say. I’m not feeling very confident. I feel nervous”. How lovely that they have someone like you to approach them and make them feel comfortable.

“It’s not all about you.”

When you walk into a room and it is already full of people you could ask the organiser to introduce you to somebody – explain that this is your first time networking and you would like to get to know people.

Please don’t say that you are feeling very nervous or not very confident because then you are sending out the wrong message and you are reaffirming what has possibly been in your mindset up until now.

Keep that away. Get rid of that gremlin.

What would be the worse case scenario? If I walked up to somebody and said: “Hello my name is Carmen MacDougall and this is my first time at this networking meeting, I would like to get to know you and your business, what do you do?”

You know it doesn’t really matter how you start off that first conversation, it’s the fact that you are going up to someone and starting that conversation.

A great place to go and start a conversation is the table with tea and coffee, especially when you have to help yourself a it is natural to offer: “Would you like me to pour your tea as well?” and then ask “How did you get here today?” or “Did you find the traffic bad today?” or “This seems like a room full of really fantastic people doesn’t it, the energy is just buzzing in here, isn’t it?” or “Is this your first time here?” or “What are you hoping to get out of this networking meeting today?”

Part of your confidence is preparing questions that you can ask people so that you are not blankly starring at someone thinking “Oh my gosh, my mouth has just dried up, I haven’t got a clue what to ask”. You can avoid that just by thinking and practising some questions that show interest in the other person.

Know that:

  • It is ok if this is your first experience of networking.
  • It is ok to ask people to be introduced to somebody.
  • It is ok to approach somebody.
  • By doing it, time and time again, you will become very confident at it. It will become second nature.

Want to find out more about network and the 7 key tools you need? Pop over to find out more information on our new ecourse.

Filed Under: Biz Booster Tips, Confidence Tagged With: , , ,

Presentation skills for VA’s 2

October 30, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by kenfotos

In this post we are going to talk about tackling those nerves.

Actually being a little nervous is a GOOD thing believe it or not as having them allows a peak performance. I speak at a lot of large conferences each year and I am always a little nervous beforehand, yet I find this helps me to give the best presentation.

However, the key is in the control of your nerves and feeling confident. How do you do that? Visualisation.
If all you tell yourself is that you are nervous and then imagine yourself standing there a bag of nerves, then guess what…you will experience that…you are what you think.

By visualising yourself as a confident person, giving a sound presentation, imagining feeling calm and relaxed and even visualising people looking at you with keen interest whilst you are standing there thoroughly enjoying the presentation – then guess what again…you will experience that!!

Remember that much of the nerves (controlled) will be on the inside. I bet people have told you that you appeared very confident and you respond with surprise…well, if you take the first three letters of confidence you have ‘con’, it is easy to con your audience! The visualisation is what will help con your subconscious mind.

Remember that whatever you tell yourself often enough you will become, change the way you think, act, behave as if you were the person you want to appear to be.

Filed Under: Confidence Tagged With: , ,

How to get others to understand what a VA does 2

October 23, 2012 By Leave a Comment

In the last post on how to get others to understand what a VA does, we introduced you to thinking about you you tell others what you do. Here go in to more information on helping others understand what VA’s do and how you can help their business.

It is important that you make it very clear what the true value is in your services and how they can make a positive impact…perhaps to their income or work/life balance.

You are the facilitator to help them create solutions and results

Your conversation should include who you work closely with, what solutions you provide and use examples, the results you help people to achieve and use examples, the guarantee you offer and the benefits.  This is called ‘positioning’ and is the basis of your marketing.  Anyway, you’re not reading this for a long marketing lesson; you just want to know what you need to communicate to help people understand what you do.

First what not to say….

  • A) Avoid using your title or label…I am a VA.  This can end the conversation.
  • B) There is no need to talk through how you work, use jargon or describe specifically how you help your clients.  It’s like hearing a plumber tell you exactly how they will fix your water pipes…do you really need to know?

Summarise simply the results you help clients achieve.  Make an impact with what you are saying.  Make it unique.

Here is a simple exercise I use to help me to focus on the results aspect for clients.  I use the words “which means that…”  For example:

  • I help clients to create more time to focus on their business…which means that…they can spend time on key activities that will enable them to raise their profile…which means that…more of their prospective clients will learn about what they do…which means that…through regular communication they can build a stronger presence, better relationship and can gain trust amongst their audience…which means that…their audience is more likely to buy from them…which means that…which means that…their income will start to increase significantly and in a faster time that before…which means that…they can achieve their ultimate business goals of working less time for more money…which means that…they can they will be fulfilled in their business and therefore in their personal life – RESULT!

I know this seems a bit long winded, this is for my own purpose, and not something I do with clients.  This is something we use in coaching to get people really focused on what they want and why.  I believe that a VA is about helping their clients achieve their WHY in life.


Filed Under: Biz Booster Tips, Confidence Tagged With: , ,

Presentation skills for VA’s

October 18, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by kenfotos

Want to know how you can stop feeling nervous when you are presenting in front of an audience?

Do you notice that just before your turn to stand up and do your 40 or 60- second pitch or your ten minute presentation, your heart starts to beat faster, you feel a churning in your gut, you suddenly forget what you had planned to say.

Then you stand up and notice how you are shaking, you feel conscious of everyone staring at you, you jumble up your words and mumble…oh damn you feel you’ve made a mess of it all and now have to wait until the next meeting to get it right …. but …. next time comes around and all you think about is the terrible experience of the last meeting …. oh what to do!!!!

View things from the audience’s perspective.

Have you ever sat in the audience whilst listening to someone’s ten minute presentation and lost interest or became confused with too much information?  Then learn from this…keep it simple.

What will make the impact is to think about what they want to hear…when you are in the audience do you want to know how the  speaker’s service could benefit you or have a positive impact on someone you know?  Of course you do, so this is what you should be aiming for…getting across how THEY, the audience can start to notice something positive by you working with them or those that they know.

In the next part we will show you how to handle those nerves.

Filed Under: Biz Booster Tips, Confidence Tagged With: , ,

What Now?

October 1, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by pakorn

If You Can Only Do One Thing, Do Something!!

If you could explore just one small opportunity, then it would be worth
taking that one small opportunity…would it not? Small actions lead to big
results. Even if that action is making one phone call,  act now, otherwise you WILL regret it.

The fact that you have been reading this has been the first positive
action; perhaps you’ve already been taking some action, so I congratulate
you.

What was your intention, what outcome do you want to get now? If you are stuck in a rut what are you prepared to do next about it?

Because, otherwise, as I’ve said, you will stay in your rut.

There is a lot there I have tried to cover over the precvious posts and as I have said this is not about a quick fix, this is about a start of your journey, so I’m here for you if you need support.

If I sound or appear to be the type of person that you would love to work
with and you would love to part of this new enterprise “Confident Women”
then just contact me

And…hopefully, this has inspired you to take some course of action even
it’s just thinking about the action to get out of your rut, then I’ve done my
job.

If you need to share any questions or maybe share some success stories then I’d absolutely welcome that, just send me an email, I’d love to hear from you.
Good luck on your journey and on getting out of your rut

Filed Under: Confidence, Get Out of Your Rut! Tagged With: , , , ,

Set Clear Milestones

September 24, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by renjith krishnan

Set very clear milestones for yourself, so you can start to measure your achievements, keep focussed on what is motivating you, and remind yourself of the negative consequence if you are not to take the action.

Have a flexible plan, focussed on your vision, going back to what I said
earlier, imaging now when life is different for you how would it be, what
would you notice happening, what would you notice being different?
So that you can start to mould your vision, have a very specific plan but allow it to be flexible because life does throw other challenges, whilst we are on a journey and that’s OK, we have to be prepared that could actually happen.

Just to give you a scenario; you’re setting off to go and meet somebody and maybe you’ve got a 20 mile journey, you look on Google maps and figured out the route you are going to take so you have a specific plan. Yet you are allowing yourself the contingency time to be flexible, just in case there’s traffic or any road works. And, Sod’s Law you come across some road works, so maybe you have satnav or your map next to you and you start to look at a different route, in order that you can carry on and achieve your end result, which is meeting that person at that particular destination.

It should never hold you back, so allow yourself to be flexible, have a
flexible plan and have a contingency for any of those barriers that could come up.

Then you start to implement some strategies to build your confidence and your self esteem. You build a stronger base and put yourself in a much stronger position to get out of that rut, otherwise if you take nothing on board from what you’re reading, you are just going to float through life, you will make on the spot decisions based on not really having a plan, and so don’t be surprised if you stay in your rut. But I’m sure that’s not you want is it?

So, have a blue print, have a plan. Have a clear focus and direction, have accountability, get support, have a contingency plan, have objectives, have flexibility, have faith in yourself, believe you can do it, learn from past experiences and mistakes and take that forward with you.

Think about how you can start to behave and be and think differently, use the support of other people, positive people who could positively influence you and help you to make that change.

Measure your success and if you need to make any adjustments, then
that’s fine because you are working at your own pace. And take action
every single day.

Filed Under: Confidence, Get Out of Your Rut! Tagged With: , , , ,

Start Acting

September 17, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by renjith krishnan

Now acting has quite a significant and positive impact on your sub
conscious mind. When we are pretending, when we are imagining, we are
tricking our sub conscious mind into believing that it’s actually true. If
that is the case and actually it is the case because it’s been proven and is
one of the major factors around Neuro Linguistic Programming, we are
changing the way we think.

We are reprogramming our behaviour because we are acting; we become
whatever we are acting. Whatever our role is that we are acting out, we
start to actually believe that it’s happening, so start to act based on the
person of your future, so going back to what I want you think about.
Imagine now, the more confident you that’s standing in front of you right
now from the future, has actually got out of that rut and they’ve made that
change. Notice their behaviour, notice their body language, notice their
facial expressions, notice the way they are talking, notice their new
positive belief systems, and notice their attitude. Start acting like that
person.

So what is the main cause of your rut, perhaps it’s because you just don’t
know how to get out of it? Now hopefully everything I’ve been telling you
so far is already giving you an indication of how you can get out of it, but
sometimes, it’s because we allow ourselves to be just too busy to think
about it. If we are just too busy all the time, then we are creating an
excuse aren’t we? But actually we have no excuse. There are no
shortcuts, but there is a way, there is a journey, so I hope you’ve taken on
board everything I’ve been saying so far.

Filed Under: Confidence, Get Out of Your Rut! Tagged With: , , ,

Who Can Help You Get Out Of Your Rut?

September 13, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by renjith krishnan

Sometimes when you are sitting there thinking on your own, you can’t see the wood for the trees, so this is where consulting with somebody else really does help. Now that person doesn’t necessarily have to produce all the answers for you, because that’s putting a lot of pressure them, even if you are hiring a coach, they don’t have all the answers for you, butthrough good questioning skills and good listening skills, it’s amazing how you come up with many different options.

Also think about who else has been in your current situation and now they are out that rut, people love being asked for advice and of course, anyone that has changed their situation is often very happy to share how they got out of it. This is where you have a mentor – a mentor doesn’t have to be just about business, it could be someone in relationships or wealth or just life in generally. SO who else has been in your situation and they’ve moved out, out of that rut and they are living the life that you want to live?
Of course, it’s not about just you, there are other people out there that would be more than willing to support you, to help you get out of that rut and I don’t know about yourselves but sometimes I think “well if someone else has been in the same situation as myself, it makes me feel a bit better”.

Not that I’m trying to be cruel that someone else has had to be in a dire situation, but it makes me feel better that I’m not the only person that is experiencing whatever it is that I am experiencing at the time.
What makes me feel really great is knowing that there is someone whom I can ask advice from. As opposed to trying to go round in circles and figuring out how I can do the same, I’m going to go straight to the core and ask that person “How did you get to where you are today?, How did you make that change? Where did you get the courage from? How did youbuild the confidence to do it? What sort of options would you suggest I look at?”.

It’s quite a relief to get that off your shoulders and hear that advice of
other people, not just one person but a selection of people perhaps?

All I would say is be careful whose advice you ask because there are some people out there who could be a negative influence but perhaps enjoy the fact, and this may sound quite sinister, that you are in a rut, because they are in a rut too. By you moving out of your rut is going to leave them behind. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a situation where you and a group of friends are on a diet, trying to lose a little bit of weight and you go round to someone’s house for coffee and they have biscuits. Now remember you are all on a diet but they still put the box of biscuits on the table and you say “No I’m going to be really good”, and they are saying “Go on just one!” Why would they say that? Because by having one biscuit is actually going to keep you where you are and it makes them feel better that they can have a biscuit as well.

So it’s a sad fact of life that there are people out there that don’t want to be left behind, they want everyone to stay in the same peer group, in the same little community, and if you were to move out, they fear being left behind or being ignored or not being a friend anymore. Which is something that sounds absolutely ridiculous but it does happen, really this is where you need to be very careful who your influencers are around you.

Start mixing with people who are of a positive mindset, perhaps have
experienced moving out of a challenging situation, people that will have a
very
positive
influence
over
you

Filed Under: Confidence, Get Out of Your Rut! Tagged With: , , , ,

Less Talk, Take Action

September 3, 2012 By Leave a Comment

by Stuart Miles

Making changes to get out of your rut requires confidence in making a
decision. It was interesting whilst having a conversation with someone
recently, they said that one of the things that they really hated about
themselves was that they would make a decision, they’d take the action to
make the decision and the decision was put into action but, then they
started to doubt themselves, doubt that they had made the right decision.
Sound familiar?
It’s a behaviour that they really hated about themselves, that they doubted
the decision that was made, and then worked over and over and over
again, mulling over the decision. One of the things that they would do,
which is positive, would be to look at the consequence of making that
decision, but even when that decision was made they would doubt
themselves. Is that you? Do you doubt some of the decisions that you
have made?
I think you need to be a little bit more lenient with yourselves, because
actually, you make decision based on your current situation, based on the
resources that you have available to you right now, based on the people
around you that perhaps mentor you, or someone that you could ask
advice of or maybe you’ve made decisions based on past experiences or
past mistakes.
So really you have to be confident about a decision and make it, but of
course you’re not just going to make the decision on a whim, it shouldn’t
be necessarily a knee jerk reaction although sometimes making a knee jerk
decision is probably the best thing for us, because it prevents us from
going over and over again, wondering if this is the right thing to do.
When you are making or creating your vision, thinking about how you want
things to be different for you… where you start, how you want things to be
different, how you want things to be more positive, what you are being
motivated towards and what you are being motivated away from…start to
think about what options you have available to you right now.

Filed Under: Confidence, Get Out of Your Rut! Tagged With: , , , ,
« Older Posts