How to stop feeling nervous about networking

imagesDo you want advice on how to stop feeling nervous about presenting?

That feeling of dread just before standing up to give a 60 second presentation is not great is it!

I remember back to the day in 1999 when I attended my very first networking event.  I was nervous as anything and couldn’t eat a sausage that morning and not even at the event.  Nobody warned me that I had to stand and give a presentation for 60 seconds.  I had no idea what to say.  All I remember was that what came out of my mouth was a muddle and I just wanted to run for the hills!!

Today I am an accomplished networker.  I co-founded a Staffordshire networking group with 7 groups and 20 members in each and  I was responsilble for training the members in networking success.  I witnessed some amazing opportunities created.  A far cry from my first networking event I can tell you.  In fact from my networking, I have generated some amazing strategic alliances, created some brilliant connections and boosted my business.  In fact I have been called the most connected business woman by a number of highly respected business people.

However, I have to say to you that, if you want to thrive from your own networking then you have to ensure you avoid the 6 common mistakes VAs make.  I am going to share these with you over the next three weeks…so enjoy!

Your 60 Seconds

Do you notice that just before your turn to stand up and do your 60-second pitch or your ten minute presentation, your heart starts to beat faster, you feel a churning in your gut, you suddenly forget what you had planned to say.

Then you stand up and notice how you are shaking, you feel conscious of everyone staring at you, you jumble up your words and mumble…oh damn you feel you’ve made a mess of it all and now have to wait until the next meeting to get it right …. but …. next time comes around and all you think about is the terrible experience of the last meeting …. oh what to do!!!!

Here is Tip Number 1 – let’s tackle those nerves of yours first

  • Actually being a little nervous is a GOOD thing believe it or not as having them allows a peak performance.  I speak at a lot of large conferences each year and I am always a little nervous beforehand, yet I find this helps me to give the best presentation.
  • However, the key is in the control of your nerves and feeling confident. How do you do that?  Visualisation.
  • If all you tell yourself is that you are nervous and then imagine yourself standing there a bag of nerves, then guess what…you will experience that…you are what you think.
  • By visualising yourself as a confident person, giving a sound presentation, imagining feeling calm and relaxed and even visualising people looking at you with keen interest whilst you are standing there thoroughly enjoying the presentation – then guess what again…you will experience that!!
  • Remember that much of the nerves (controlled) will be on the inside.  I bet people have told you that you appeared very confident and you respond with surprise…well, if you take the first three letters of confidence you have ‘con’, it is easy to con your audience!  The visualisation is what will help con your subconscious mind.
  • Remember that whatever you tell yourself often enough you will become true, change the way you think, act, behave as if you were the person you want to appear to be.

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Let Your Passion Shine Through

Let your passion shine through! You know this is your business! Love it! Love talking about it!

For some people their lack of confidence comes from feeling embarrassed at talking about themselves and they worry that they are coming across as salesy. You don’t have to be salesy.

Love what you do. The one comment I receive time and time again is: “You have an amazing energy and a passion for what you do”. I say: “I know! I love it! I love what I do. I love supporting VAs to become a success in their business. I love giving them the secrets to marketing their business and how to network effectively. I love it!”.

And that’s the sort of impression you want to make with people. You don’t want to be talking so that you think “I really don’t want to be doing this”.

As part of your confidence let your passion about what you do shine through.

Remember it’s not all about you. There will be other people attending the event who are thinking: “Oh gosh. I don’t know what to say. I’m not feeling very confident. I feel nervous”. How lovely that they have someone like you to approach them and make them feel comfortable.

“It’s not all about you.”

When you walk into a room and it is already full of people you could ask the organiser to introduce you to somebody – explain that this is your first time networking and you would like to get to know people.

Please don’t say that you are feeling very nervous or not very confident because then you are sending out the wrong message and you are reaffirming what has possibly been in your mindset up until now.

Keep that away. Get rid of that gremlin.

What would be the worse case scenario? If I walked up to somebody and said: “Hello my name is Carmen MacDougall and this is my first time at this networking meeting, I would like to get to know you and your business, what do you do?”

You know it doesn’t really matter how you start off that first conversation, it’s the fact that you are going up to someone and starting that conversation.

A great place to go and start a conversation is the table with tea and coffee, especially when you have to help yourself a it is natural to offer: “Would you like me to pour your tea as well?” and then ask “How did you get here today?” or “Did you find the traffic bad today?” or “This seems like a room full of really fantastic people doesn’t it, the energy is just buzzing in here, isn’t it?” or “Is this your first time here?” or “What are you hoping to get out of this networking meeting today?”

Part of your confidence is preparing questions that you can ask people so that you are not blankly starring at someone thinking “Oh my gosh, my mouth has just dried up, I haven’t got a clue what to ask”. You can avoid that just by thinking and practising some questions that show interest in the other person.

Know that:

  • It is ok if this is your first experience of networking.
  • It is ok to ask people to be introduced to somebody.
  • It is ok to approach somebody.
  • By doing it, time and time again, you will become very confident at it. It will become second nature.

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How to get others to understand what a VA does 2

In the last post on how to get others to understand what a VA does, we introduced you to thinking about you you tell others what you do. Here go in to more information on helping others understand what VA’s do and how you can help their business.

It is important that you make it very clear what the true value is in your services and how they can make a positive impact…perhaps to their income or work/life balance.

You are the facilitator to help them create solutions and results

Your conversation should include who you work closely with, what solutions you provide and use examples, the results you help people to achieve and use examples, the guarantee you offer and the benefits.  This is called ‘positioning’ and is the basis of your marketing.  Anyway, you’re not reading this for a long marketing lesson; you just want to know what you need to communicate to help people understand what you do.

First what not to say….

  • A) Avoid using your title or label…I am a VA.  This can end the conversation.
  • B) There is no need to talk through how you work, use jargon or describe specifically how you help your clients.  It’s like hearing a plumber tell you exactly how they will fix your water pipes…do you really need to know?

Summarise simply the results you help clients achieve.  Make an impact with what you are saying.  Make it unique.

Here is a simple exercise I use to help me to focus on the results aspect for clients.  I use the words “which means that…”  For example:

  • I help clients to create more time to focus on their business…which means that…they can spend time on key activities that will enable them to raise their profile…which means that…more of their prospective clients will learn about what they do…which means that…through regular communication they can build a stronger presence, better relationship and can gain trust amongst their audience…which means that…their audience is more likely to buy from them…which means thatwhich means that…their income will start to increase significantly and in a faster time that before…which means that…they can achieve their ultimate business goals of working less time for more money…which means that…they can they will be fulfilled in their business and therefore in their personal life – RESULT!

I know this seems a bit long winded, this is for my own purpose, and not something I do with clients.  This is something we use in coaching to get people really focused on what they want and why.  I believe that a VA is about helping their clients achieve their WHY in life.


How to get others to understand what a VA does

Can you think of a time when someone has told you about their business? How often have you gained a clear understanding of what they do?  I can guess that at some point in the past you have come away from a conversation and have still been confused about their business?  So many people state that they create business solutions, help you to make money or help you save money…but what do they mean exactly?

When people are listening to you talk about what you do…what are they hearing about you?  Do they get what you do?  If not, you need to think again about your message and how you deliver it.

This is something a lot of Va’s have experienced, and, although many people understand what a VA does, not everyone will fully understand the benefits and will hesitate investing their hard earned cash in a VA…so what’s the cure?

Well the cure is…or the secret is…quite simply…putting yourself in their shoes and understand the results they want to achieve.  Put yourself in their shoes and understand the challenges which they are experiencing.   If you can demonstrate that you understand all of this as well as what they want and need (results), plus that you can understand how important it is to them to achieve those results, then they will start to see the value in your VA services.  It really doesn’t matter how you help them, they don’t need to understand your tools, all they want and need to know is that you can help them to take away the challenges so that they can achieve their results.

What Now?

by pakorn

If You Can Only Do One Thing, Do Something!!

If you could explore just one small opportunity, then it would be worth
taking that one small opportunity…would it not? Small actions lead to big
results. Even if that action is making one phone call,  act now, otherwise you WILL regret it.

The fact that you have been reading this has been the first positive
action; perhaps you’ve already been taking some action, so I congratulate
you.

What was your intention, what outcome do you want to get now? If you are stuck in a rut what are you prepared to do next about it?

Because, otherwise, as I’ve said, you will stay in your rut.

There is a lot there I have tried to cover over the precvious posts and as I have said this is not about a quick fix, this is about a start of your journey, so I’m here for you if you need support.

If I sound or appear to be the type of person that you would love to work
with and you would love to part of this new enterprise “Confident Women”
then just contact me

And…hopefully, this has inspired you to take some course of action even
it’s just thinking about the action to get out of your rut, then I’ve done my
job.

If you need to share any questions or maybe share some success stories then I’d absolutely welcome that, just send me an email, I’d love to hear from you.
Good luck on your journey and on getting out of your rut

Start Acting

by renjith krishnan

Now acting has quite a significant and positive impact on your sub
conscious mind. When we are pretending, when we are imagining, we are
tricking our sub conscious mind into believing that it’s actually true. If
that is the case and actually it is the case because it’s been proven and is
one of the major factors around Neuro Linguistic Programming, we are
changing the way we think.

We are reprogramming our behaviour because we are acting; we become
whatever we are acting. Whatever our role is that we are acting out, we
start to actually believe that it’s happening, so start to act based on the
person of your future, so going back to what I want you think about.
Imagine now, the more confident you that’s standing in front of you right
now from the future, has actually got out of that rut and they’ve made that
change. Notice their behaviour, notice their body language, notice their
facial expressions, notice the way they are talking, notice their new
positive belief systems, and notice their attitude. Start acting like that
person.

So what is the main cause of your rut, perhaps it’s because you just don’t
know how to get out of it? Now hopefully everything I’ve been telling you
so far is already giving you an indication of how you can get out of it, but
sometimes, it’s because we allow ourselves to be just too busy to think
about it. If we are just too busy all the time, then we are creating an
excuse aren’t we? But actually we have no excuse. There are no
shortcuts, but there is a way, there is a journey, so I hope you’ve taken on
board everything I’ve been saying so far.

Who Can Help You Get Out Of Your Rut?

by renjith krishnan

Sometimes when you are sitting there thinking on your own, you can’t see the wood for the trees, so this is where consulting with somebody else really does help. Now that person doesn’t necessarily have to produce all the answers for you, because that’s putting a lot of pressure them, even if you are hiring a coach, they don’t have all the answers for you, butthrough good questioning skills and good listening skills, it’s amazing how you come up with many different options.

Also think about who else has been in your current situation and now they are out that rut, people love being asked for advice and of course, anyone that has changed their situation is often very happy to share how they got out of it. This is where you have a mentor – a mentor doesn’t have to be just about business, it could be someone in relationships or wealth or just life in generally. SO who else has been in your situation and they’ve moved out, out of that rut and they are living the life that you want to live?
Of course, it’s not about just you, there are other people out there that would be more than willing to support you, to help you get out of that rut and I don’t know about yourselves but sometimes I think “well if someone else has been in the same situation as myself, it makes me feel a bit better”.

Not that I’m trying to be cruel that someone else has had to be in a dire situation, but it makes me feel better that I’m not the only person that is experiencing whatever it is that I am experiencing at the time.
What makes me feel really great is knowing that there is someone whom I can ask advice from. As opposed to trying to go round in circles and figuring out how I can do the same, I’m going to go straight to the core and ask that person “How did you get to where you are today?, How did you make that change? Where did you get the courage from? How did youbuild the confidence to do it? What sort of options would you suggest I look at?”.

It’s quite a relief to get that off your shoulders and hear that advice of
other people, not just one person but a selection of people perhaps?

All I would say is be careful whose advice you ask because there are some people out there who could be a negative influence but perhaps enjoy the fact, and this may sound quite sinister, that you are in a rut, because they are in a rut too. By you moving out of your rut is going to leave them behind. I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a situation where you and a group of friends are on a diet, trying to lose a little bit of weight and you go round to someone’s house for coffee and they have biscuits. Now remember you are all on a diet but they still put the box of biscuits on the table and you say “No I’m going to be really good”, and they are saying “Go on just one!” Why would they say that? Because by having one biscuit is actually going to keep you where you are and it makes them feel better that they can have a biscuit as well.

So it’s a sad fact of life that there are people out there that don’t want to be left behind, they want everyone to stay in the same peer group, in the same little community, and if you were to move out, they fear being left behind or being ignored or not being a friend anymore. Which is something that sounds absolutely ridiculous but it does happen, really this is where you need to be very careful who your influencers are around you.

Start mixing with people who are of a positive mindset, perhaps have
experienced moving out of a challenging situation, people that will have a
very
positive
influence
over
you

Start Leaving Your Rut

by renjith krishnan

I have seen many different people that I’ve coached, in a variety of very
challenging situations, and to hear their story you’d think “My gosh how
on earth did they get out of that situation?”.

Now of course, I can only cover so much and there is only so
much you can work on by yourself without support from an expert, so
please bear with me, but hopefully, as I said, this for you will be the start of a very happy journey for you.

First of all, I think it’s about being clear about where you are now. What is your current situation? What is actually causing your rut? Is it a financial situation? Is it a job situation? Is it health? Is it a relationship? Is it your business or job? The focus is about all areas of your life. If any of you have ever had a coach or worked with myself, you will be familiar with something called the “Wheel of Life”. And you will see from that, your life is not made up of just one factor; it’s not just made up of health; it’s not just made up of money etc. It’s made up of a combination of different factors, that’s what makes you a whole person.

The trouble is, the wheel will sometimes be a little bit out of sorts, a little bit misshapen because some aspects of your wheel of life will be out of sync with something else. Therefore, think about your current situation and where you are now and I think sometimes, and this is something I’vemgone through myself, I’ve seen my client’s go through this, is that the first the step is actually facing the challenge, facing the problem, facing the fact that you are in a rut.

What is not going to help you is sticking your head in the sand and hoping that the problem goes away.
There is an absolutely amazing lady whom I’ve got to know, called Marie-Clare Carlisle, and she’s written a fantastic book which is called “How to Become a Money Magnet”. In fact, she will be one of our guest speakers as part of our Confident Women programme. One of the points Marie-Claire states in her book, is that the first start in being able to actually move forward is facing your negative belief, your negative situations, your emotions that go with it; it’s facing everything head on. When you start to face things head on, that’s when things actually start to change for you, which is really exciting.

Your VA business journey is a marathon not a sprint

by graur razvan ionut

When you started your VA business you no doubt had big dreams and ideas on what you wanted to do and where you wanted to take your business, but sometimes the reality of business can take the shine off of all that.

Being in business is as the headline says, a marathon not a sprint so you should be setting goals and and planing for the long term, and this should also include training.

Constantly updating your skills and adding new ones will help keep you on your toes as well as ahead of the game, giving you the edge over others in your niche. It will also help you with the longevity of your business, meaning you will continue to attract new clients therefore keeping your business healthy.

You also need to take regular breaks in your business, holidays and time away, which can be difficult if you work from home. You need at least one if not two days off a week with no work activities scheduled in to recharge your batteries and when you return you will feel more engaged in what you are doing.

Regularly assessing what you are doing in your business and where you are heading will help keep you on course to where you want to be, so get out that business plan, reassess and rewrite what you want to do and how you are going to do it. Your business plan should be a working document, not something that sits on a shelf.

So take your time, don’t rush things and your journey is only just beginning, stay in it for the long haul to reap the rewards.

What Has Created the Rut for You?

There could be a number of different reasons: it could be outside circumstances that you’ve really had no control over whatsoever, it could be a relationship breakdown which perhaps contributed in some way, and it could be redundancy, the list could be endless, so it’s not something
you’ve contributed to. Whatever the rut has been, you’ve had maybe some
control or no control over it.
However, I do very much believe that we attract our situation as well.
Someone might say “How could I possibly attract redundancy?”, well I really
do believe that there’s an element to all parts of our lives where we do have an element of control over an outcome – but why do we stay in the rut?
If it’s something we’re not particularly happy with it really doesn’t make
sense to stay there, surely we’d be much better off if we kicked ourselves out of this rut. But sometimes it’s a lack of confidence and sometimes it’s a lack of focus and direction. We sometimes really don’t know where we need to be heading and being in the rut isn’t always something we’re happy with. Sometimes, I’m afraid to say, it’s down to laziness. We just can’t be bothered to make a change; we might as well just stay where we are because you know what, after all it’s what we know isn’t it?
Quite a few people that I’ve coached have blamed it on other people, it’s other peoples fault! If it wasn’t for others then we wouldn’t be where we are today. We have a huge blame factor. It’s negativity – having a negative
mindset and I often believe that some of that can derive from past experiences.
It can also derive from having negative people around you and I think it’s
about time to start changing the people around you, who have an influence
over you. The thing is that whether it’s laziness, can’t be bothered, a
negative attitude, low self esteem, what happens is, the more that we are
in this rut and the more we believe there are reasons why we are in this
rut, we start to live this self fulfilling prophecy. It becomes us. We start to
act as if the rut is a natural part of our lives and it really does not have to
be that case. So the good news is that you can get out of your rut.