When you make the decision to start your own business, you’re full of a mixture of excitement, anticipation and bright ideas. You have big plans and you want to share them with the world.
If you’ve picked a business that really resonates with you, these feelings continue, long past start-up and on into the years in business. Your enthusiasm is high, ideas keep popping up, you start making money from what you’re doing and your dreams gather momentum and grow.
So why isn’t everyone happy with your decision and your plans?
Say hello to the Dream Killers
Dream Killers come in different shapes and sizes. They can be people you know personally, people you’ve only met online and even people who you’ve never even met! The only common trait they have is their need to stick a great big drawing pin through your dream.
How to identify a Dream Killer
There are some Dream Killers that are obvious – they’re the ones who say outright that they don’t want you to do what you’re doing or planning to do. They don’t want you to succeed and they will try to sabotage what you’re doing.
But not all Dream Killers are that upfront. Some will hide their true intent and feelings, masking them behind different tactics.
Tactics can involve any of the following:
- Telling you horror stories of what to expect, if you continue moving in the direction you’re going
- Giving you their advice – and getting annoyed when you don’t follow it
- Reciting past examples of how you previously failed
- Acting as if they know you better than you do or telling you what you’re ‘really’ thinking
- Telling you what you really need, want or are better suited to
- Getting you to question your moves, by asking if you’re really sure about what you’re doing?
- Telling all and sundry your dreams, in a belittling or ‘comical’ way
- Trying to steer you onto another path or to a ‘safer’ option
Why they’re acting the way they are
The bottom line, when it comes to Dream Killers, is this – they’re scared. You’ve pushed against one of their own negative beliefs and made them feel uncomfortable.
They may be worried about how your actions will affect them. Will it stretch their comfort zone? What will they have to change or adapt to? What will affect them and have to change as a result? How have your actions made them feel?
They may also be jealous or envious of what you’re doing. How can she take that leap of faith? Why can’t I afford to leave my job and start out on my own? How come she’s brave enough to do what I wasn’t This can also be a judgemental thing too – related to your qualifications, location, gender, age or finances.
How to deal with Dream Killers
The important thing to remember is this; whatever their issue with what you’re doing – it really is their issue!
You just need to nip it in the bud and not take it personally. So how do you deal with it?
#1: Identify them
#2: If needed (especially if they’re your nearest and dearest), talk to them and see what their real fear or worry is.
#3: Take a short time to analyse if there’s anything useful and accurate in what they’re saying. If so, take it on board, adapt and make adjustments if needed. If not, let it go.
#4: Limit your time with them – or cut it out altogether.
#5: Surround yourself with positive, forward-focused people who want you to succeed.
#6: Ramp up your intention, get visualising and planning – keep your focus on your end goal.
#7: Get help and support to make your dream happen.
Finally, when it comes to implementing our plans and dreams, we may actually uncover habits and beliefs that we’re using on ourselves to become our own Dream Killer. If this is something you’ve found, you’ll want to check out next week’s blog, as it’s all about ramping up your own self-belief and stopping limiting beliefs!
Have you identified the Dream Killers in your life? Were there some that surprised you? What step was the hardest for you and how did you overcome this? Why not share your advice and experiences in the comments section of this blog?
Image courtesy Brian Jackson/Dollar Photo Club